i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
