there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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