bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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