worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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