I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
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GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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