I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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