Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
