two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
