so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
