I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
