Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
