I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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