if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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