Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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