don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
