Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
