I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
They took my balls.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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