I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Actions speak louder than pants.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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