bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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