I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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