Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
