Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
