we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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