I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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