Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
