Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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