At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
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I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
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I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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