the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
