she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
