Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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