If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
