He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
