...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
