R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
