he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
