I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
