yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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