i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
