Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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