hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just want nice things and good sex
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
