small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
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Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
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Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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