nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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