Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
