So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's the barista slut.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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