and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
