I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize