He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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