So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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