so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
