i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
