he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
BRING THE BAGELS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
