I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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