At least make sure they are 18
Why
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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