is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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