Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
