Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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