can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
