Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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