Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
