dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
