I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
