I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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